Domino Kirke delivered a refreshingly honest Father's Day message to her husband Penn Badgley on Sunday, June 21, mixing heartfelt appreciation with humor about the realities of marriage and parenting four children.
The 42-year-old musician and doula took to Instagram to share a tribute that began with a reflection on her past experiences with father figures before pivoting to praise Badgley's role in their blended family.
"When you grow up with a childlike father, you learn not to expect much. You brace yourself for disappointment over and over," Kirke wrote in her post, according to Us Weekly. "You make excuses for their behavior and convince yourself you don't deserve much more."
Kirke, who brought her son Cassius, now 16, into her relationship with Badgley, acknowledged that she initially found it easier to parent alone. The admission speaks to the vulnerability many blended families navigate when combining different parenting styles and expectations.
"Truth is, I felt like I had more 'control' as a single mum," she explained, according to Us Weekly. "That's all that was. I needed to run the show and keep everything where I could see it. I know now that control is an illusion. Even on the days I think I can do this better alone, even with all that muscle memory to back it up, I know now in my bones that I can't."
The couple, who married in 2017, have expanded their family considerably since then. They share son James, 4, and 9-month-old twin boys, bringing their household to six members. Kirke reflected on the journey of building this family over 13 years together, noting they have always had a child in their care.
Kirke concluded her tribute with both humor and gratitude, quoting comedian Jim Gaffigan's observation about having four children before adding her own sentiment. "Thank you for riding every wave with me and for not agreeing to a divorce every time I ask for one. Happy Father's Day, @pennbadgley; we're the lucky ones," she wrote, according to Us Weekly.
The joke about divorce requests, while delivered with levity, underscores the honest approach Kirke has taken to discussing marriage and parenting. Her willingness to acknowledge the difficulties alongside the joys offers a counterpoint to idealized portrayals of family life often presented on social media.
Kirke has previously spoken publicly about Badgley's role as stepfather to Cassius. "He's a really good stepdad," Kirke told Us Weekly in 2019. "He doesn't have to be 'dad,' so he can have more fun with him. It's really nice. The stepparent thing is definitely uncharted territory for me 'cause I didn't grow up with one, but … he takes care of him really well."
Badgley, 39, has also reflected on his journey into fatherhood, particularly how it affected his work on the Netflix series You. Speaking to Access Hollywood in 2021, he discussed the contrast between his joyful experience as a new father and his character Joe's darker paternal instincts.
"I was curious [how] my new fatherhood would influence my experience with Joe and acting with him," Badgley told Access Hollywood. "But sometimes, it was almost not helpful because I was having such a light and joyful experience [and] still am, and Joe was, like, so petrified and so scared. Of course, I can identify with the fear, but he's just so morbid in his obsessive self-preservation and primal instinct that sometimes I almost found it harder."
The actor also spoke to InStyle about becoming a first-time biological father during the COVID pandemic, describing both the joy and difficulty of caring for their son with limited outside help. He later told Elle in October 2021 that while he drew on his own parenting experience for his role, his character's paternal instinct remained fundamentally different from his own approach to fatherhood.
"I certainly had the great bounty of drawing on my own experience, becoming a new biological parent, and that was quite natural," Badgley told Elle. "There are some definitely sweet moments where I was able to do that, but I think by and large, [Joe's] paternal instinct is at best primal. I think to be a good father or a parent, you need to really rise several orders above primal, but he's at least primal, I guess."
Kirke's Father's Day message reflects a growing trend among public figures to present more authentic portrayals of family life, acknowledging both the rewards and challenges of marriage and parenting. Her tribute suggests that successful partnerships often require navigating difficult moments with humor and commitment rather than maintaining a facade of effortless harmony.